Kyria's journal

I am crazy about my bicycles. I use my kick ass folding bike two days a week when I go to dance practice after work and stay in The Hague. My city bike is the only memento of my former relationship, gifted to me by my former mother in law (a total sweety) and she got it second hand from a bike sale from the local police. We have so many bikes in the Netherlands that we have special teams rounding up deserted and broken bikes that are left on the street to die. The criminal bikes that are parked where they weren't supposed to be are resold if their owner doesn't reclaim them.

My bike is a run down worn out looking piece of rust, which is perfect because it lives in front of my house, chained to a public bike stand. I fixed the saddle up with ducktape, the saddlebags are fraying at the edges and they are discolored to a buttery shade of yellow but secretly it is in perfect working order and drives like what I imagine a very expensive car should feel like on a sunny day with an open road.

Except that it didn't, when I drove to my bd classes yesterday. My back brake jammed and I was stuck, out on the street. Lucky for me that there were a couple of bike repairshops nearby, and some of them were still open! Long story short, the nice repairman fixed my bike and I returned today to pick it up. I need my bike on a daily basis so I was happy that he could fix it so quickly.

The wonderous thing is that it drives even better than it did before. I am in bike heaven :-)

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My mum turned 60 and she wanted to go on holiday with all her children, meaning little brother, big brother and me. We had a great couple of days in Madrid, the capitol of Spain. I am however annoyedwhen my mum told us on the way back from the airport that Big Brother feels like he s excluded from our family ever since he moved out when he was 18. And how he feels that I am never asking him how he is doing, or visiting him besides from birthdays.

I ask if I can drop by to see hs house, he tells me he doesn't want to chack agenda's, just ring when I am in the area (I never had to be in his area on account of it being two hours away. I don't wander around much aimlessly when I have a day off)

When I text him, no reply.

When I mail him, no reply

When I ask him face to face how he's doing, one syllable answers.

What pisses me off most is that he never said anything to me about this in the past 16 years. In fact, he still hasn't, this is hearsay from my mother. My brother is very introvert but he is smart enough to figure out that I am not a mindreader. Or old enough to speak up for himself. Holding resentment because I am not meeting the expectations he set for me without telling me hurts my feelings.
The main reason why ths bothers me is because I want him to like me, or at least not ignore me. I always had the feeling that he thought I was a weird person and he was ashamed of me towards his friends.

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I have been on the diane-35 pill for over 15 years. In the EU, several women on that pill have died from a side effect, trombosis. Research is pending, but in the meantime I have to choose for myself whether I'll continue taking the pill, or not.

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I have a fever, started saturday and it's persistent keeping me immobile. Fever struck me while I was at mr. M.'s place and he's been making me cups of cammomile tea and healthy homecooked meals. I have been hiding underneath two fleece blankets on his couch coughing my troat out and having a killer headache. We have established that I have a narrow throat and no throat infection, which is good. Hoping that I feel better later this week, not sure what to do with tomorrow's first bd class. Will see how I feel tomorrow.

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Not sure if the translation is correct, but I participated in a selection committee. It was the first time for me being on the selecting side. It was a good bit of experience but it sucks when you are the person who has to decide if someone is suitable for the job. In this case, he was not the right person for the job. I went home knowing that I did my job well and feeling like crap.

It's bad timing that I'm PMSing this week too. Thank God for chocolate

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It has been freezing for over a week, meaning that the Dutch people are in full ice fever mode. For the first time I share the anxiety of hoping that the ice will be strong enough to do some long distance skating. During my skating lessons I rented my skates but this weekend Mr. R. went into town and I got myself some racing skates. They are the newer type, called combi skates on account of having a different type of shoe. They are quite comfortable and easy to put on and look like this:

A coworker who was a speedskater when she was younger told me that I needed to get the radius checked, I brought them to the skating rink tonight to get them sharpened properly. I can pick them up on Thursday night and if the ice is good, I might take a couple of hours off on Friday to skate outside. Taking time off work for outdoor ice skating is quite common in the Netherlands and it is widely understood by coworkers that deadlines should be pushed back because of it so I am good to go. Weehee!

When I told my semi pro skating coworker about my skating classes, I made her smile by stating that I 'could skate'. Speedskating is a very technical sport that takes years and years for developing proper technique, but I don't really care. I am on skates and not falling over, that's good enough for me!

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H&M has the spring collection out with the cutest leopard dress. I went shopping with a friend who introduced me to the idea of having more then one handbag and showed me the cutest flowerprint leather bag.

Who knew, I might be turning into a real woman one day.

Here's the dress:
http://www.hm.com/nl/product/05839?article=05839-F

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I have a talk with a mortgage person net week to see what my options are and in preparation I have reviewed my spending habits of 2012. I like t think off myself as pretty good in saving money, yet the facts are that I didn't save much in 2012.

Because...

Wait for it...

I enjoy doing fun stuff and I did a maximum amount of amazing things in 2012. Like learning how to dive, learning how to sail, going to Istanbul and meet up with Ozma, after twelve years of second and costume buying, getting me a custom made Bella and two Emans, learning horseback riding, going on a snow holiday for the frst time. And don't forget my braces, they are coming of in 2012 but are still costing me 500€ a year in consults. I went out with friends for dinner more often and am going to dance performances in a theatre, something I didn't do before by lack of resources. In short, 2012 was a decadent blast.

Come to think of it, I'm amazed that I managed to save money at all! The reason why I could afford all this? Because I sublet one room, making my house dirty cheap compared to the usual price for size and location. If I buy a house, my monthly payments will go up to about 1000€ a month, double of what I pay now. As much as I want my own place, I'm not sure if I am ready to leave the financal freedom that my current rented house is offering behind me. So many things I'd like to do, so little time...

The reason why I am looking into buying is because I hate the commute. However, the main reason is my new subletter as I figured out last weekend while I was complaining to my friends. I'm putting locks on the doors inside our house tomorrow, on request of my subletter (she requested for her door only, I don't think she'd think that I put locks on my doors too in response), meaning I'll get more privacy once all doors can be locked. The silent territorium fight that we have been in during the last couple of months is turning in my favor, due to me being home during the Christma holiday and thus putting my mark upon things, putting the locs up, adding the ikea table to the kitchen and last but not least, buying a new shower curtain for the bathroom that is Not Pink. That's right, our cold war consists out of me putting stuff in our house that is Not Pink and preferable Not White*. Hey, I paid my dues by living as a subletter in this house for over six years, living together with Cookiehunter for 4 years and doing some mayor home improvement over the last two years. I deserve to feel at home in my own house, screw this cold war, this is my place!**

The reason why I feel like she is trying to take over is because in the past three months, Barbie has asked me to:
Ask the landlord to redo our bathroom (uhm, no)
Demand a lock on her door through a whatsapp message (I agree because it is a reasonable request, though in a poor form)
Ask me for more cupboard space in the kitchen (I obliged)
She told me we could use her (pink) towels in the kitchen instead of my green/red/blue ones
Her wanting to put a laundrybasket in the bathroom (I agreed on condition that we both buy the same, closed laundry basket. Looking at each others dirty laundry every day is a bit TMI for me. She just updated me on how she is trying to find a white/pink one)
Her suggestion that I should buy a buy a new vacuumcleaner because she doesn't like the suction power of the current one(I did not agree with her request on account of me thinking my current vacuumcleaner works just fine. Also, it IS white)
Asked me if she could attach her laundry rack to the wall in the bathroom(request denied, on account of us having a shared foldable laundry rack that is blue)
Is hoping very much to replace the shower curtain by a white/pink one.
Her offering to help me with interior design choices in my space, becase she has an eye for it (sweet, but no thanks)
Is refusing all offers for shared plates/ cups/etc., and I suspect it is because she doesn't like my plain, practical crockery and cutlery

How to end this once and for all? Your suggestions are welcome and in reward I'll try to post some striking Cold War pictures from my house up here soon.

* my subletter loos like Barbie and everything she owns is pink and white, she tries to take over by putting moar pink and white stuff in the shared spaces. Go on, I'll put my tinfoil hat on and you can tell me I'm crazy

** ofcourse, Barbie deserves to feel at home in her room to. But shared spaces like the kitchen and bathroom should make us feel both at home.

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I'm performing with a live band tomorrow to 'zourouni'. The only problem being that their complete setlist consists out of medium tempo songs and I prefer magencies, or something wth more clear defined rhythm changes. Especially for a ten minute perormance *freaks out*

Tomorrow there will be practicing. And also an unknown Turkish guy trying to put plaster board on my living room wall, something he told me he was going to do today but ended up not doing. Instead he put all the supplies in my livingroom and I had to put all my furniture to the side before going to work. Because...well... That's how Turkish men in my neighborhood do things. Planning is not an option. Things just happen when they are supposed to happen, inshalla.

Will practice tomorrow anyway, before going to a ballet performance in Amsterdam with Cookiehuhter. It is quite awesome, three pieces performed by the Scapino ballet. Oneof them is Carmen, one of my favorite ballets on account of it being about an independent gypsy woman and the beautiful music from Bizet.

One more thing: I came home and found a box of chocolate in my mailbox + an anonimous card stating 'I think you are sweet. The sweetest. Enjoy the chocolates, xoxo'. I love days that contain surprise chocolate

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Lots of things going on, so let's count down:
1. The oum kolthoum project performed at the Kunstfactor Live! Festival this friday. We did good, despite the lack of theater lights. We drew the waiters and cooks from the kitchen, and the police orchestra that played before us and packed up to leave, stuck around. Good for us! Despitethe bad news about our creative director's trouble with the theater that she's working at closing down. We got some nice artsy group shots in the blinding white futuristic hallway that I will share later.

2. Got a call for a private gig on friday, for...friday night. The good news: it was fairly close to my house, about 25 minutes by car. I said yes, showed up to a huge farmhouse turned into a house. It was a dinner for a group of friends who were going to Morrocco together and I was the suprise. I did an okay version of Talisman, habiby ya eini and got everyone up to dance. It was fun :-)

3. Practiced for the LAT project today, a 40 minute bely dance cross- over theater project. We did the run through, which went horribly for me,mprobably due to my unwose decision to go to a birthday party last night and getting back at 3 am. I do not regret this, as the party was awesome. We scheduled an extra hearsal next Saturday morning. The performance is on Sunday.

4. Next week: Asli Sharqi festival! Meaning workshops with Tito, Anasma and Khalida. Fabulous shows and performances, and all that jazz. I look forward to spending a weekend on dance and meeting dance friends. I'm afraid that this means I'll be crap at work on Monday, and I'm already feeling that I'm making too much mistakes right now. Understandable with y grandmother and everything, but it still sucks to feel incompetent because you know you are messing things up.

5. My weekly classes start tomorrow and all three are on! Meaning that I'll be teaching between 18.30 and 22.15 every monday, after 8 hours of work and 2 hours of travel. I am excited and slightly scared at the same time. The beginners group has a cute choreography. This semester I'm focusing on teaching the reversed camel first. Because I secretly loath the reversed camel and believe it makes you look like you are throwing up. In an attemot to change my point of view, I will start by teaching the reversed camel tomgive my students a chance to decide for themselves. The intermediates will get assignments for creatig their own choreography, combined with an Aziza choreography that I learned two or three years ago in Duisburg to a Nesma song. So they can enjoy her sheer genius through my rather poor example. I'm patting myself on the back for taking decent notes and videotaping the whole thing at the time. It appears that doing your homework really pays off.

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